Jogi Löw Takes The Argentina Rorschach Test

March 3rd, 2010 | by: Nick |

As most followers of the DFB-Team have noticed, there have been some recurring problems lately. Many were on display today against Argentina. Rather than pour over the same points and sound like a broken record, I have decided to take a look into the mind of the main contributor to our poor performance today. Below is a series of problems we had against Argentina and Löw’s immediate response to them through my eyes. Let’s call it the Argentina Rorschach Test.

Jogi Imitating A Robot

Blot 1:
• The 4-2-3-1 is not working against a very defensive Argentina. They are up 1-0 halftime.
Answer:
• Bring on Mario (Gomez) he has deserved it by being completely clueless for like forever for the DFB. Don’t change anything else though, at least until the 75` minute. Adjusting to a 4-4-2 would probably help, but too bad I didn’t plan for it. It’s too risky for me to try it now anyway.

Blot 2:
• Per (Mertesacker) is slow and (Sedar) Tasci is making one too many mistakes.
Answer:
• For now do nothing and look displeased. Select Heiko (Westermann) next time at all costs! I would rather call up Kevin (Kurányi) before I call up Mats (Hummels).

Blot 3:
• Jerome (Boateng) is not fast enough for fullback and seems better for centerback.
Answer:
• Keep him there. Why play him in his natural position? At least he didn’t get a card this time!

Blot 4:
• (Lukas) Podolski is static, Mesut (Özil) is isolated, (Thomas) Müller is not doing spectacular.
Answer:
• Never ever substitute Marko (Marin) on, there is something about him that just bothers me. Wait until the 80` minute to bring on Toni (Kroos) and put him on the wrong side of the pitch. Move Bastian (Schweinsteiger) back to the right next game.

Blot 5:
• Michael (Ballack) is not getting along with Schweini in midfield.
Answer:
• Similar to the previous, but also call up Thomas (Hitzlsperger) again next time.

Bonus Round:
• Ballack said we played a boring game and did not risk enough forward.
Answer:
• Did he just call me chicken?

Tags: Friendlies, World Cup 2010

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Nick

Kiessling is very well known in Germany for being Chancentod - in other words he wastes chances. Did you see the match against Köln and his career before this year?

The Hinrunde was an aberration. He has scored as many goals as Helmes since December, so using Kiessling who has scored even less than Helmes on the national team during the WC would be risky. We might as well have Kuryani based on your criteria.

Klose on the other hand let's not forget has been top scorer or there about for the last two World Cups and was critical to German success during Euro 2008 and as recently as the qualifiers against Russia and Finland.

My verdict is Kiessling would be great for a friendly, but unless he is on fire in the BL or the CL like Cacau he will only be a bench warmer.
Eden

Nick.. you've obviously never heard the name Stefan Kießling in your life, have you?

He's waaay better than the retards Klose and Podolski.
Nick

Against athletic physical teams:
Brazil, Holland, England, Italy

4-4-2 Diamond
-------------Adler--------------
---Traesch-Boateng-Merte-Lahm---
------------Hummels-------------
---------Schweini-Kroos---------
-------------Özil---------------
---------Klose----Poldi---------

Against possession based team:
Argentina, Spain, France

4-4-2 Flat
-------------Adler--------------
---Traesch-Boateng-Merte-Lahm---
------------Hummels-------------
---Schweini--Kroos--Özil--------
---------Klose----Poldi---------

Against a weak team or last minute equalizer:

4-2-3-1
-------------Adler--------------
-Beck--Boateng----Hummels--Lahm-
------------Schweini------------
------------Khedira-------------
--Marin------Ozil--------Kroos--
-------------Klose--------------
Michel-Olivier

best thing to do now is switch back to 4-4-2 and call back frings

neuer
lahm-westermann-mertesacker-schafer
schweinsteiger-ballack-frings-ozil
kiessling-podolski

klose can be the new neuville
hawk

Well, test failed :-(

And it was my first live international, too ...

Sh** happens.
William

I wonder if this game is really something to worry about. I mean no doubt Germany played like crap, but they never seem to be motivated for friendlies. Look at the Norway game, the China game, its obvious Germany could care less. Tournaments on the other hand...

If I were a German, I would be really worried about the strikers. Klose doesn't ever play, Podolski sucks in the Bundesliga, Gomez only cares about a paycheck evidently.