Meet the Schweinsteigers and learn about the Tragedy of Philipp Lahm’s Great-great-great-great-grandfather.

We know that names like Klose, Löw, Frings and Ballack offer creative headline writers plenty to work with. We know that Schweinsteiger can be a bitch to pronounce for some non-German speakers. I know that every English article mentioning Schweinsteiger will tell you that his name translates to pig climber or pig mounter. But according to Prof. Dr. Jürgen Udolph that’s not the accurate meaning or translation of Schweinsteiger. Udolph is Germany’s only professor for Onomastics and decrypted a couple of family names of German national team players for n-tv.de.

Bastian Schweinsteiger. A Schweinsteige was actually the Old High German word for pigpen (or Schweinestall in modern German). So it’s not pig climber but Bastian Pigpenner. According to Udolph that means that his family lived in a pigpen when they got their name. Not too flattering, but as we will see with Philipp Lahm’s case, those medieval people were very pragmatic.

Philipp Lahm. Lahm is the German word for lame and apparently when someone decided to give Philipp’s great-great-great-great-grandfather’s family a name, his great-great-great-great-grandfather was lame or gelähmt (lamed / paralysed).

Per Mertesacker. Per’s forefathers worked on Merte’s (variation of Martin) Acker (acre). Quite straightforward.

Christoph Metzelder. Metzelder is derived from Macellarius – latin for butcher. To our butcher’s credit, he hasn’t received a single yellow card this tournament. He probably hasn’t defended a single ball either.

Mario Gomez. While his father is Spanish, a lot of Spanish names actually have some Germanic roots and Gomez is derived from the Old High German word for man (gomo).

Michael Ballack. Ballack is a sorbic name derived from Balthasar. Balthasar is of Babylonian origin and means “God look after his life”.

Joachim Löw. Löw is a short form of Löwe (lion). A name that was adapted by families with similar characteristics: athletic, strong, courageous and brave. Brave as in letting Jens Lehmann play in a European Championship final.

Oliver Bierhoff. The Bier in Bierhoff has nothing to do with the German word Bier (beer), but is a Low German variation of the word Birne (pear). Add a Hof (yard) to the mix and you’ve got a pear yard.

Franz Beckenbauer. Last but not least The Kaiser. Beckenbauer’s ancestors were versatile people, who were both Bäcker (baker) and Bauer (farmer) at the same time. Just like our Kaiser was a defensive (swee) and an attacking (per) footballer at the same time.